Why Language Learning Feels So Hard (And Why It’s Not Your Fault)

If you’ve ever felt like you were too dumb, too lazy, or just not “language smart” — you’re not alone.

I’ve been learning Mandarin Chinese for the better part of 8 years, and I still struggle with understanding and speaking basic Chinese.

But here’s the truth: neither you nor I are the problem.

The system is.

In this post, I break down why traditional language education fails most learners — and why we need a complete reset.


👁️ Reading Isn’t Hearing: Close Your Eyes and Open Your Ears

Most language classes teach you to look at language, not listen to it.

We’re introduced to the so-called “fundamentals” — the alphabet, vocabulary, grammar rules, and textbook phrases.

In theory, this should prepare us to understand real speech. In practice, it leaves us completely unprepared.

We might learn a clean phrase like:

“How are you doing?”

But in real life, it sounds more like:

“haʊ/ɑr/ju/ˈduɪŋ?” or “haʊ/ju/ˈduɪŋ?”

We end up with a mental model of language that doesn’t match the reality of what hits our ears. It’s a clash between imagination and experience.

Even when materials do use real native audio, they often slap subtitles on it — pulling our brains right back into reading mode instead of training our ears.

And this isn't just an English problem — it's true for Spanish, Mandarin, Japanese, and nearly every living language.

We’re being trained for tests, not conversations.

No wonder listening feels impossible.